How To Cope With Death

It is often asked why someone had to die. This question is among the hardest to answer. Even harder then that is helping someone understand the answers that may be given. Everyone deals differently with the idea of death and the experience of losing a person they know. The beliefs of a person will be strongly weighed in these situations. Their coping skill will be heavily pressured and it comes down to the individual in the end. To find answers and to start the process of healing it is necessary to start somewhere, anywhere. Not trying to understand is included in this as long as the idea is to eventually come to an acceptance or understanding. It is often times too overwhelming to begin right away but it is not good to let too much time pass.

• Everything takes time, the world might seem upside down but it will stabilize just give it some time.
• If something is too much to deal with take a minute and walk away. The mind has measures to help things get back to normal, sometimes it needs quiet stimulant free air to do that in.
• The feelings and thoughts being experienced are different for everyone, people can not understand unless it is shared. Talk, talk some more, then sit down and talk again. Keeping conversation open and letting things flow will help bring back stability.

Memories can be a very powerful stimulant. They may cause all sorts of different reactions. Allowing these reactions to consciously happen is a healthy approach. Different ways to help aid this process are:

• Categorize different memories and make sure to file the happy ones in a readily available place in the mind.
• Keeping a journal helps deal with some issues memories may cause, it also serves as a good reminder in the future.
• Share memories and listen to memories of others. The art of remembrance can be a personal or public thing. The public realm allows for different views to come together and build a good social feeling. Avoid the negative views though, the golden rule of only speaking when there is something good to say applies here.
• Items that spark positive remembrance should be placed around the house or kept in an accessible location. Do make sure to leave one room or area free of these if possible. That room or area will serve as the clear zone to get away from things for a bit.

The power of memories has one important roll to play. This happens when we close our eyes. We often at times worry about forgetting someone or its hard to deal with them not being there. In times like these we just need to close our eyes. When we do this we will tell our mind to focus on those happy memories. Focusing on hearing the voice we miss or want to remember is the most important thing to do. The visual appearance of a person is sometimes hard to remember or quickly bring up in our mind. The persons voice is something very particular to them and sound is a very distinguishable thing. Often times remembering them saying something is enough to stir a calmer feeling. Remember this is a positive exercise and is not meant to bring on more worry or pain. Memories insure us that we will never forget, and this also means those people will always be with us.

In the same sense that we have to cope with death we also need to remember to learn from it. Life is a story and we often forget to look at the things that are being written. When a person passes away their story is published. As they lived they wrote that story, as we live we write our stories. Learning to read the exerts as the story is being written is important. When the time comes for a story to be published we step back to bask in the glorious work of the author. We remember the writing process and how the authors voice carried upon the pages. We remember the good and the bad, we remember it all. The most important fact though is, we remember.

I encourage anyone having found themselves on this page to share an experience in the comments below. We are all very connected in this world, death and the way it effects us is one of those connections. Give a small remembrance to someone or share an experience of coping. Helping each other get through the tough times is just as important as sharing the good times.